Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sunshine Sarah and the Nameless Hobo
A children's story

(Disclaimer: I was talking to my friends Sarah and TJ on Facebook and, for some reason, they were begging me to tell them a story. So I did. And this is how it goes.)

Once upon a time there was a drag queen.

Her name was Sunshine Sarah.

And she wanted a new pair of stripper heels.

There was one problem, though; she had no money.

"I should get a job!" exclaimed Sunshine Sarah.

"I need money."

She didn't want to be a stripper, so she needed to find a new source of income.

Sunshine Sarah searched all over New York city for a job so she could purchase her beloved heels.

So she applied for a job at Chick Fillet (or however you spell it).

But then she remembered she was allergic to chicken.

So that escapade was an epic fail.

But Sunshine Sarah persevered. Then, she applied for a job at the wax museum.

But then she remembered that she was allergic to wax celebrities.

So, once again, that was an epic fail.

By now, Sunshine Sarah was kind of pissed off, so she disgruntledly applied for one last job.

This time, at Chuckie Cheese's.

and Sunshine Sarah got the job!

It was her first day of work and she was super excited.

Because what Drag Queen doesn't adore Chuckie Cheese's?

So Sunshine Sarah arrived at work with a smile on her face.

But, turns out, small children don't really like drag queens very much.

Evidently, Sunshine Sarah was fired immediately.

This was not a happy event.

Glumly, Sunshine Sarah was moseying down the New York streets.

There, she came across a hobo.

A nameless hobo.

"Good day," waved said nameless hobo.

"Good day," replied Sunshine Sarah, still glum from the dream crusher that is Chuckie Cheese's.

Just then Sunshine Sarah noticed something very peculiar...

...said nameless hobo was wearing Sunshine Sarah's desired heels!

Then Sunshine Sarah got a despotic idea.

She tackled said nameless hobo and beat him with her purse.

"Stop!" yelped said nameless hobo.

Except Sunshine Sarah didn't stop.

Instead, she stole said nameless hobo's heels. and guess what?

TJ: what

They fit Sunshine Sarah perfectly!

...which made her very happy!

The sun was setting, and Sunshine Sarah skipped away from said nameless hobo lying limply in the ally.

And from that day on, Sunshine Sarah despised Chuckie Cheese's and feared not said nameless hobos.


I hope you liked my wonderful story!
Oh--and RIP Michael Jackson



Hannah said...

Hahahah oh, Annie, I love these kinds of stories :P
They make my day.


natalie said...

It was wonderful hahaha :)

aivilo relluf said...

Hahah :):)! You totally had my undivided attention throughout your entire story. Like, I stopped answering my texts, hahah. It was interesting, and I enjoyed it. I'm glad Sunshine Sarah got her heels. I can't believe Chuck-e-cheese's was so disciminating towards her.. sheesh :P.

Have a good week,
♥ Olive