Day Three: Secrets

PostSecret is possibly one of the greatest ideas ever. If you haven't heard of it, I would suggest going to the website (click me!) and check it out. A bunch of people mail these postcards in, each card an idiosyncratic work of art with one thing in comment: the postcards reveal their darkest secrets. The postcards are published on websites and in books, but of course, remain anonymous. Some of the secrets are witty and humorous, while others are morbid and terrible. Nonetheless, they're tons of fun to read.

I heard about PostSecret a long time ago, but a few weeks ago in Creative Writing class we were assigned to make our own. Of course, no one revealed their darkest secrets to the class--no teenager in their right mind would--so a lot of people made theirs up. Mine wasn't fake though--I admitted to a deep childhood secret: I killed my imaginary friend. (:

True story. He was an imaginary Pokemon, a Charmander to be exact, and his name was Zippo. One day, I realized five-and-a-half was WAY too old for friends of the imaginary sort, so I plagued Zippo with so horrid, fatal disease that only kills imaginary people. Soon after, Zippo the imaginary charmander died. Then I cried a bit.



Secrets are...weird. It's inexplicably easier to admit things to complete strangers rather then your closest friends. I guess there's the factor of judgment to add on. It's easier to gossip about people who aren't standing right next to you. It's sort of like that. I don't really know what I mean.

Do I have a dark secret? No. Not really. Nothing compared to other people. I have tiny flukes of my past that embarrass me, but certainly nothing epic. Most of them are funny, anyway. Like one time I when I was like 7, I was mad at my brother, so I wrote his name in his handwriting on this piece of furniture. My mom got mad at my brother--and he blamed it one me--but she didn't listen to him because it was his name in his handwriting. I doubt anyone else in my family remembers that. But I do. I remember the slightest, insignificant details of everything. It's a vexing quality.

I do have a secret--though it isn't very secretive--that I am still a little embarrassed by. When I was ten, I had a huge crush on this extremely irksome guy. I'm not recalling any of the details, but it would be a cute story if it wasn't so humiliating. Or if the guy wasn't such an asshole. He still brings it up. Isn't that sad? Honestly, it's because everyone hates him and that was probably the most positive attention he's gotten in his life. Honey, I was ten. Move on.

It is weird how casually people can reveal their secrets. I've listened to people I hardly know spill the darkest secrets without a care. The other day in the geometry class, I overheard this girl carelessly spilling her life story to people she really isn't friends with. I only listened for a minute, but she was talking about her dad left her when she was three and now he's like an alcoholic and is trying to get money from her, and how her boyfriend was abusive. I don't know about you, but those aren't things I would tell just anybody. I felt bad for her though :(

One time, I was talking with my friend that I don't see very often online and he spilled this entire story about how he really liked this girl at his school but he was too afraid to ask her out because he'd gotten rejected before. He ranted on and on about how ugly he was and how he was such a nerd and he'd never get a girlfriend. Then I remembered one time I was at this restaurant with my friends and one of them admitted that she thought this guy was going to ask her out, and he was nice in everything, but never in a million years would she ever go out with someone like him. Listening to this guy's misfortune life unravel, I felt terrible but was at loss for words. I had nothing to say because secretly I know a lot of what he was saying was probably right.


Another time my friend told me she used to cut herself. It was buried in an irrelevant conversation, and I'm not sure anyone else realized what she had said, but I did. I never asked about it, and she never brought it up again. It's weird though--she's one of my best friends now and I would never imagine her doing anything like that. I hope she never brings it up, I kind of wish I didn't know, because I know she's kind of had a tough life and wasn't really saying this to get attention. She didn't have many friends before us and I wish we could have been there for her. But we weren't.

Holy crap. This was intended to a short, light post. That was about an hour ago. Oh well, tomorrow's post will be shorter. I apologize for my endless ranting! If you haven't heard, I am posting every single day for ten days to see if I can. Today is Day Three, and so far so good. One more week to go.

So, lastly, does anyone have any humorous secrets they're willing to share? Leave a comment (:

Psst--I think the time on my blog is off. How can I fix that? I don't know what time it says, but I am posting this around 11:45 pm on May, 8, 2009.